Sunday, February 18, 2007

Note to self: No Pain, No Gain

We often forget that to love is to put your heart out in the open and risk getting it fucked over a couple of times.

We also often forget that it's worth it.

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'Ain at 21:07

4 comments

Thursday, November 09, 2006

What you resist persists

I watched The Secret last night and witnessed new revelations unfold.

Miracles are not that difficult to achieve. In fact, they're not difficult at all. Magic happens when you want and intend them to, and when you forbid the opportunity for resistance to stop them from happening (or rather, stop 'you from happening').

When you want something really badly, ask for it, throw the intent out to the world, and half the battle's already won. What's left to do is to sustain the desire, raise your awareness, be sensitive to your environment and observe the signs, and watch how the universe conspires and makes it happen for you. Let your guard down, and let life in.

I've put a lot of thought into my relationship with Ian the past two days. And I saw how he and I had contributed to the manifestation of the romance. The relationship was thriving on the immense desire for each other. The intent was pure and we eliminated the possibilities for the why and the reasoning (i.e. resistance), and all that mattered was the existence itself. Together, this was indomitable. Almost.

I say that because there have been occasions when I've overlooked and indirectly allowed room for this relationship to 'not work out'. And I speak only for myself when I identify the underlying mistakes made in this relationship. Sometimes, when I spoke of wanting it to work out, the conversations that drive the want don't come from the right space. I don't necessarily think, "This relationship will be amazing" but instead, I say "I don't want this relationship to fail", which is really me saying "This relationship is going to fail". The fear or worry of failure immediately becomes an invitation for failure to happen. Wanting something because you want it, and wanting something because you think you don't have it and don't want not to have it creates two outcomes, completely opposite of each other, even though it seems like they're both asking for the same thing. The more you resist the things that you don't want to happen, the likelier they'll happen. Simple law of attraction.

"We are shaped by our thoughts, and we become what we think. When the mind is pure, true joy follows like a shadow which never leaves." – Buddha.

I've been exercising my energy from the wrong places and I'm quite done shooting myself in the foot. Yes, I fucked it up. I'm very aware of where I went wrong. But I'm not about to regress and live in remorse. I'm making room now for the endless possibilities that this relationship will create, for the immeasurable amount of love I'm about to give, and for the magic that's about to happen.

Imagination is everything. It’s the preview of life’s coming attractions.

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'Ain at 17:59

2 comments

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Talking about love is like dancing about science

When Ian and I met, it felt like the entire universe conspired with us because over what seemed like only a few nights, the attraction manifested itself into spawns of uncontrollable thirst for more of something we can’t really put a name to.

It’s a chain reaction - the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason.

And it’s fascinating to read these reactions. Because people are, by design, based on a similar predication: a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the people around them. But while they experience this in a general way, our experience is far more defined, and unexplainable at the same time.

And then for weeks, we struggled against it, we fought to deny it; but that was of course a lie. Of course, denial is the most predictable of all human responses. A momentary lapse of judgment, soon to be rectified because beneath the poised appearances, we are completely out of control. And we know that soon the why and the reason will be gone and all that matters is its existence itself.

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'Ain at 18:25

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Friday, May 19, 2006

Does Chemistry Require Chemicals?

Not if you’re a sucker for pain.

People survive amazing disasters. The earthquake victim is pulled alive from the rubble. The driver walks away scratch-free from a crumpled auto. A woman endures a first date with a cologne-soaked, emotional baggage-laden, mid-level marketing executive.
Luck plays into the equation, but you can increase your chances of surviving an unpleasant first encounter. An ounce of prevention is worth a six-month stay in a sanitarium.

The following are tips for surviving that first date with me. Read them as if your life depended on it.

Assemble a first date disaster kit. The following items are essential:

A quart of mouth wash and eight-feet of Listerine Strips.

A moral compass.

A pin to deflate that ego.

Shin guards. Crotch guards. The works.


No expectations.

The pictures you have of me are neither ten years old, nor have they been airbrushed to oblivion, or came with a recently purchased wallet. You need not expect somebody six inches shorter or 40 pounds heavier -- or both. However, I am highly capable of over-eating or over-dieting within a short span of days. DON'T PANIC. Focus on the positive.

I do not possess a striking resemblance to the suspects you've seen on "Cops," but you might want to seek information for conversation starters: "Is there a story behind that scar?" Or, "Do you braid your nose hair for religious reasons?" With luck, the evening will fly by before you get to UFOs and Elvis pilgrimages.


Familiarize yourself with all exits.

This may come in very handy halfway through dinner (in a good or bad way). We can both create a diversion and sneak out the nearest door without anyone suspecting a thing. Everything else that happens after that need not be mentioned here and requires reader’s discretion and parental guidance.


Practice your "pretend" listening skills.

The most essential survival dating skill is the ability to appear as though you are listening. Remember to nod and blink. Do not linger your attention to another woman across the room unless it is your mother who doesn’t speak a word of English. If it isn’t your Mom, or any legal female member of your family, be sure to wear a helmet, shin guards, crotch guards and protective vest to avoid battery and injury on any part of your body. (Refer to disaster kit)

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'Ain at 16:23

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...Continued

And then there is Father’s Day. Another scam thrust upon us by capitalism to further pry our wallets open? Only if you’re a cynic. Just another holiday that greeting card companies invented to extort money from the public? No, it’s not. In fact, when the idea of a Father’s Day was first invented, Father’s Day cards didn’t even exist. So I guess we don’t really have an excuse now not to buy our dads a gift on this day.

How are you going to honour your dad this year? Are you getting him a card for Father’s Day? Maybe you should think twice about that. When was the last time you saw your dad reach into his special box full of memorabilia to reminisce about the past? Never, because there is no such box. Thinking about getting your dad another tie? What is a necktie but a reminder to each father of his youthful ambitions he abandoned and the world of servitude in which he now resides? For the love of your father, put the tie down, and back away from the rack. Fathers, who are the adult version of little boys with a tad more responsibility, want the adult version of a Tonka truck not a decorative noose or 12 stanzas in beautiful calligraphy telling him how much he means to you. A father wants something that will remind him of the reckless, devil may care youth he abandoned when he gladly accepted the obligation to put your needs ahead of his.

The main thing to ask yourself when considering a Father’s Day gift is “Who does my father think he is?” Does he envision himself as a weekend Hell’s Angel? Is he always rambling on about how “someday the snowy peak of Everest will bow down before him.” Does he picture himself on horseback in the old west uttering lines of dialogue like “I reckon so.” Once you determine this information, the ideal Father’s Day gift is not far away no matter what the harebrained masculine delusion is.

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'Ain at 15:43

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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Seasonal reflections

Contrary to popular belief, Mother's Day was not conceived and fine-tuned in the boardroom of Hallmark. The earliest tributes to mothers date back to the annual spring festival the Greeks dedicated to Rhea, the mother of many deities, and to the offerings ancient Romans made to their Great Mother of Gods, Cybele.

However, today, what should be a pleasant experience between mother and children has turned into an exemplification of the worst traits of man. Allow me to refresh your memory through my personal experiences –

First, there are the obligatory cards. Don’t deny it - you wait until it’s actually Mother’s Day to buy the card, and by that time all the real Mother’s Day cards are gone, so you have to settle for some lame, no-name humour card that has a picture of what looks like a female on it. Mom knows you bought the card just before visiting. She saw you park at the parking lot to fill it out. Strike One.

Next comes what to get her for Mother’s Day. You have no clue. She has a million cookbooks and enough serving trays to feed the army with, so you settle on a cheap box of bath soaps, never minding the fact that Mom hasn’t taken an actual bath since the day you were born. Strike Two.

And lastly, there’s the whole bit about taking Mom out for brunch on Mother’s Day. This, in theory, is a wonderful idea, but the problem is that every other person and his or her mother is trying to do the same thing at exactly the same time. Restaurants that are normally wonderful and cheery become wastelands barren of courtesy, respect, and humanity. You’ll have overworked servers, overworked hosts(esses), overworked chefs, and worse, stressed out patrons trying to bully their way into getting their mothers the next open table. So Mom ends up having to bail you out of jail because of that fight you picked to get the window table, and so, once again, another Mother’s Day is ruined. Strike Three.

That however, is hypothetical – I never really did end up in a jail cell.

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'Ain at 16:45

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Thursday, October 20, 2005

Because vibrators can't mow the lawn

Top 10 Things Men Know About Women

10:
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'Ain at 18:27

2 comments

Relationships made easy

The common name black widow spider specifically belongs to the eastern species Latrodectus mactans. Latrodectus hesperus is very similar to the true black widow.

Female black widows are generally found on their irregularly-shaped webs near the ground. Favored locations, once identified, can routinely be predicted to contain a spider, even if the occupant is regularly removed. The female requires a shaded, secluded resting place where she spends the daylight hours if her web is constructed in an open area.

Mating is an elaborate process that begins when a wandering male encounters the webbing of a female. The female black widow spider's webbing contains a pheromone that identifies her to the male. The male approaches the female cautiously while sending vibratory messages to her through her web. If she is receptive, she will remain motionless long enough for the male to deposit sperm in her genital opening. After insemination, the male usually lingers on the female's web until she eats him. This sacrifice contributes nutrients to eggs that the male's sperm will posthumously fertilize.

Currently playing: Carly Simon - You're So Vain

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'Ain at 17:44

3 comments

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A day of reckoning

You know you’re gonna have a bad day when you’re getting dressed in the morning and you stab yourself in the eye with your mascara applicator.

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'Ain at 11:29

5 comments

Monday, September 12, 2005

Humans have logically conflicting goals

Note to self:
I actually have to go to work today. Like how regular people do.

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'Ain at 00:31

6 comments

Friday, September 02, 2005

Fear is a man's best friend

Well you're up so high, how can you save me
When the dark comes here tonight to take me up
The mouth from woke and into bed
Where it kisses my face and eats my hand

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'Ain at 04:51

0 comments

Thursday, August 25, 2005

If It's Not Here Soon I Might Be Done

I am interested in staying away from destructive, coverted and hateful people. Stay out of my face.

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'Ain at 04:39

3 comments

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

No Hero In Her Sky

Today I died.

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'Ain at 23:05

4 comments

Monday, August 22, 2005

What should I do I’m just a little baby

The crazy old neighbour is at his window watching me again. He has been since I first moved here - when I was two. I’ve never actually spoken to him before. Sometimes, when I’m by the window smoking, he would get out and smoke too. And we’ll both just look at each other – and I’ll talk to him in my head, usually about how fucked up things have been. Or that he shouldn’t be smoking at his age. Even back then when I was so much younger, I would just stand by the window and talk to him in my head. I often wonder if he does the same.

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'Ain at 23:49

6 comments

Friday, August 12, 2005

Random Thoughts

Does anyone else find it weird that Dove makes personal care products and chocolates (and ice-cream) at the same time?

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'Ain at 15:39

3 comments

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I'm so sick, it's not funny

So a couple of days ago, I was using the microwave and when I pressed stop and opened it, it continued to run, and I was weirded out but ate my food anyway. Later that day I had insane headaches, and my chest started feeling heavy and I seriously did not feel good. I researched it online and read all about microwaves, and it turns out microwaves are the devil's incarnate!

The radiation from the microwave turns nutrients and particles in the food into hazardous carcinogens. Some lady died after they used microwave-heated blood for a transfusion. In fact, Russia has banned the use of microwaves since the 1970s.

Anyway, I am never going near another microwave again. In fact, I am throwing out all my microwave-able food. All you cheap bastards out there, if you want some of it, you can come get it for free. I'd rather you just threw away your own microwave as well.

In any case, ever since that day I have been worrying like all hell about having cancer. So I think I'm gonna get a CAT scan, and make sure that fucking microwave didn't alter some of my DNA. If I'm in the process of dying right now, I would at least like to know. So I'm a hypochondriac, but I don't think you should ever fuck with technology. It's killing us more than it's helping us. I am contemplating not using my cellphone so much either.

And now I have dia-fucking-rhoea, a fever, a cold and cough, and this nauseous feeling instigated by something which had Britney Spears on it which I happened to watch earlier today. She kept talking about sex, and she was making me so sick I wanted to throw the sandwich I was eating at her.

I swear the world is out to get me.

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'Ain at 05:08

1 comments

Thursday, June 23, 2005

May The Best Man Win

I’m this close to hurling my printer out the window right now.

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'Ain at 00:05

0 comments

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Beam Me Up, Scotty

There's no point to any of this. It's all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know, a quarter-pounder with cheese (those are good), the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain... and then I sit back and I smoke my cigarettes and ride my own melt.

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'Ain at 22:14

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Under Construction

Come back later.

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'Ain at 23:10

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Thursday, May 05, 2005

Engrish

It doesn't get much better than this.

www.engrish.com

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'Ain at 19:58

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