Thursday, July 21, 2005

I'm so sick, it's not funny

So a couple of days ago, I was using the microwave and when I pressed stop and opened it, it continued to run, and I was weirded out but ate my food anyway. Later that day I had insane headaches, and my chest started feeling heavy and I seriously did not feel good. I researched it online and read all about microwaves, and it turns out microwaves are the devil's incarnate!

The radiation from the microwave turns nutrients and particles in the food into hazardous carcinogens. Some lady died after they used microwave-heated blood for a transfusion. In fact, Russia has banned the use of microwaves since the 1970s.

Anyway, I am never going near another microwave again. In fact, I am throwing out all my microwave-able food. All you cheap bastards out there, if you want some of it, you can come get it for free. I'd rather you just threw away your own microwave as well.

In any case, ever since that day I have been worrying like all hell about having cancer. So I think I'm gonna get a CAT scan, and make sure that fucking microwave didn't alter some of my DNA. If I'm in the process of dying right now, I would at least like to know. So I'm a hypochondriac, but I don't think you should ever fuck with technology. It's killing us more than it's helping us. I am contemplating not using my cellphone so much either.

And now I have dia-fucking-rhoea, a fever, a cold and cough, and this nauseous feeling instigated by something which had Britney Spears on it which I happened to watch earlier today. She kept talking about sex, and she was making me so sick I wanted to throw the sandwich I was eating at her.

I swear the world is out to get me.

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'Ain at 05:08

1 comments

1 Comments

at 15:12 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey babe, get well soon! And I shall stay away from microwave too...

 

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